Now as I sit here in Richardson CAL I feel as if my dreams of being a doctor are slowly but surely running away. I can see it now several meters in front of me, laughing. I say this because I had my physics lab last week and what a fucking pain in the ass that was. At the end of our "experiment" we were given a sheet of questions to answer. I couldn't even answer the first one and I am just getting so frustrated because I'm just not getting it! The same is true of Chemistry and the labs in that class. The stupid fucking test that we have to sit and the end of our labs is worth 15% of our final mark. And of course if you don't really get it (like I don't really get it) you don't really have a chance to cement it in your mind. Last lab, I got 2 out of 6 questions. Thats not even a bloody pass!!!

It's just annoying. I feel like it's going in one ear and out the other and I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. I study most nights for 4 hours, I read the textbook and do the questions but it still dosn't help. CELS and HUBS on the other hand are fine! I'm loving it! I think the moment you start mentioning numbers and formulae and rearraging and what not I freak out. Like, not even a little freak out but a massive panic attack. It also dosn't help not having the internet at our house - yet. Because I need both access to blackboard and my textbooks simultaneously. I am NOT lugging my 4 textbooks to University. It's too far and they are way to heavy. Getting them home from the University Bookshop was mission enough and I almost broke my back doing so.

Fuck my life