I'm so tired of people trying to set me up! I'm not interested. Ok? Is that alright with you? This applies mainly to Jessie who firstly thought I was sleeping around because I told her about the time I made a boy sleep on the couch when I stayed at his, then took the ad for a snuggle buddy on my facebook seriously (yeah... I also change my religion, material status, hometown and if I'm feeling adventerous - gender - randomly when ever I feel like a change) and so I rolled with it hyping up the so-called "snuggle buddy". Then I came clean and said that I didn't actually have one to which she promply offered to "set me up with one of the guys from the (Baptist Youth) hostel". Yeah... no thanks. Not interested in anyone does mean exactly that. There is not something "wrong" nor is it something "one of the boys can't fix" (that last one actually made my stomach churn. Gross). To be quite honest the thought of bumping uglies with anyone (male, female or someone who is other) now makes me want to hurl and indeed, the last 2 times someone kissed me has made me want to be physically ill. I don't berate you for thinking/talking about your girl/boyfriend/sex most of the time so don't berate me for not wanting that. My love life does get exceedenling complicated and you know what? I just can't be fucked with the shit. I'm so much better off mentally, physically and espeically emotionally without the complication of a lover. I feel very... liberated. Sorry boys and girls although I am still "mentally-attracted" to you a sexual relationship is just out of the equation. God if I have to put with 4 years of her trying to set me up (as we are both doing BMLS) I'm going to go bananas. The thing is though, is that I don't want to lash out at her (which I'm afraid of doing if I can't get her to understand how/why) because I do actually quite like her. She is very, very amusing and is going to make BMLS class of 2012 very interesting.

Holy wall of text batman! I'm sorry to your eyes for putting through my massive text-wall rant.

I just want so much more from life than partying/getting laid. Someone once told me that makes me a nana. Well if I want something more from life then I'm fine with calling mysef that. I just don't know where this meaning for life is supposed to come from. I don't think I'm having not-even-quarter-life-crisis because I've felt this way since I was at least 16. Does it come from experience? Because I've a lot of friends and family I love dearly and have had AMAZING experiences with, but in the end we're going to die and none of it is going to matter once we do. I guess the question I'm trying to ask is - where is the meaning for this life that matters in the next?

x-posted

University is going well, tomorrow starts the last week of lectures. I'm getting a tutor for 191.104 and she is a demonstrator so hopefully that will help. My first exam (194101) is on 29.10. Got 2 assignments due on 22.10... so my life is pretty busy.