Well I've done 3 master summary sheets for chemistry. I've found a couple of very good chemistry books in the library (along with my physics book hehe) and thats really helping. At the moment we are doing complex charbohydrate chemistry which I am sort of getting (shock horror me getting chemistry!) I didn't know that there was so many isomers of carbohydrates. There is soooo much detail. The thing I learnt today is how to tell what area in a sugar is more likely to undergo nucleophilc attack - the area with free electrons! We also had a look at the chemical structure of DNA & RNA and I'm glad we done all that kerfuffle before hand because now I really understand the components of DNA. Before, I would look at a molecule of DNA and be able to say it was DNA but I had no idea what it was made up of or, how the cell manages to make it. However, the lecturer was going so fast that I have huge gaps on my notes that I should fill in now while I think about it.

and now I have the hiccups >_<

Also, there is a HSFY seminar tommrrow about what to do about next semester because if I fail chemistry and physics this year I'm going to drop out of HSFY and do something else. Because I can't get into any professional programmes with 2 fails and I can't get into BIOC192 when I failed the prequisiste CHEM191. They are speakers from all departments including Law. I though about Law you know but I'm not sure if I'd be any good at it. To me they seem like paper pushers. However, I can do Japanese (which I was quite good at in high school and I still remember quite a bit) and I could work for the Government. I still like Science though but because it draws on heaps of previous knowlege I feel I'm at bit of a disadvantage having not done much science at high school.

My friend Megan who studied NDS with me and who is currently in her 2nd year of Medical Lab Science at Massey wants to go back to UCOL and do nursing. Something that I too have been considering. Mum is a nurse after all and they get paid way more than a medical lab scientist and 20k less that a house surgon (something Doctors are  called just after they graduate) however, I want to graduate from a University. It seems ironic that Med Lab Sci is a selective 4 year degree and they get paid less than nurses. But I still like science...

I was also thinking about post graduate study. To go into research in science you normally need a PhD (something a certain someone well all know knows heaps about ) and since I will proberly be a C student (yeah I know Cs get degrees but thats not the point) I won't be able to get into Honours (thus go from honours to a PhD) & will have to go the long way. Ie Bachelors->Masters->doctorate. But I'm not even sure I want to go into research anymore.

I've been having huge pangs of home sickness lately. I miss my mum and I miss being in Feilding (never though I'd say that) and I miss comfterable surroundings. Maybe it's just because it's my first year and out lectures are sooo big (1864 students taking CELS191) that it's hard to get to know anyone. At UCOL there was 20 people doing NDS which was great because you knew everyone and they knew you. Same with your lecturers you knew them and they knew you. However, the lectures at UCOL were 2-3hours long so you could cover a weeks worth of work in 2days. Thats why I think I didn't want to finish it the lectures got boring in the end and I just stopped going.

I was a good girl and hauled my ass to the Science Library today and done some study. At the moment I am in the middle of making some master chemistry study sheets. I think I've got the hang on making a concentration table, I think. Just need some practise. Do you know how hard it is trying to find some physics textbooks that are for 100 level? It's almost impossiable, which isn't very helpfull because I really hate using the prescribed textbook. I had my 50 packets of throaties (well it felt like that much... Although it was proberly more near 10) and tissues and I was set. Right now I'm having a "study break" I will go back to the Science library later on.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to eat for the next couple of weeks . As naughty Telecom has hijacked our phone bill I made 2 $3.00 calls to my mum this month and I'm going to have to pay a grand total of $57.53 or something around there. Thats only 1/4 of our bill so I'm sure you can extroplate that number and see the true horrors of the total. Cam is going to have to ring them and give them a HUGE telling off $80.00 for the internet just isn't cricket!!

I was thinking today, actually my mind just wandered off when I was trying to study (as it often does) about the "housing crisis" and it just reminds me of days of old. The wealthy land owning class leasing it to the rest of us smooches who couldn't own land if we sold our immortal souls. All we need now is a monarch and hey presto we've got good old fedulism! No wait, we do have a monarch good old Queen Elizabeth II. Now I'm a bit of a monarchist I think that should NZ ever face a consitutional crisis then good old Governor General Anand Satyanand (as represntative of Her Majesty) can dissolve parliment and we hold new elections (it's called reserve powers) and there is also the Royal prerogative of mercy. Ah Justice is such a double edged sword.

If anyone could explain to me what an affidavit is, I'd be greatly apprciated.

It's been the graduation weekends for the past couple of weekends and I can't wait till I graduate. Mum thought it was funny when I asked if she would come. It's really a serious question! Because (depending on which degree is decide to presue) my younger brothers will still be pretty young. If it take a 3 year degree then Andrew will be 10, Isaac will be 9 Joshua will be 8 and Phillip will be 6. Hopefully Peter will have decided to come to Otago and then everyone can kill 2 birds with one stone (seeing me graduate and seeing Peter). I know that Grandma and Granddad would want to come along with Nan and Pop + Mum and David. I'm not sure about Dad as much as I love to hate him Dunedin is quite far away... I know the University only gives you 4 guareenteed tickets for family so the grandparents will have to sit in the town hall and watch me on a giant TV. I hope they have gowns for really really short people I'm only 148cm you know

This song is love I want to thank Debbie for introducing me to the Smashing Pumpkins.
P.S - I am thinking about selling my modem and tablet on trademe to free up some extra cash. I freaking love my tablet though but it's worth about $100 what do you guys think?

HUBS exam went well this morning. It would have been better though if I hadn't caught this disease that is currently playing havoc with my sinsues. I got a couple of good books from the library today on physics one is a general 100 level undergraduate book it's better than the prescribed textbook for PHSI191. Which, as a side not, the faculty are writing their own textbook which I think is a fantastic idea! As trying to find anything in College Physics by Paul Peter Urone is a mission. I may do some more study once I find my throaties. And take some more neruofien.
Will proberly go to science library again tommrrow and try and get some more work done. Grr I hate it when I can hear the construction workers outside. With exams coming up the libraries are going to pack out already in the central library it's packing out. I could go and see if the medical library has any more room.

*sneezes*

Being sick sucks.

I hate walking all over the friggen university to find a friggen computer *makes annoyed sound* anywho, now that I've found one in St. David... I shall bear to you my news for the past few days.

A motion is before the OUSA about UMAT and how there isn't any evidance that it dosn't discriminate. The AGM is tommrrow at 1pm and I'm intending to go, means I have to go to 12pm physics but I think it will be good. I hope the University scraps UMAT because 1) the $160 Australian dollars it costs (It's ended up costing me more than $200 New Zealand and It's put me that much more in debt that my lovely Mum has offered to pay) 2) it's just a personality test. There is other tests that the University administers right here and it would be a lot more cost effective to students to have something run here than something in Australia.

I don't come from a very privleged background (solo mum trying to raise her 2 kids on the DPB and what not) so there was never much money and unless you actually plan about 2years ahead and you know what you have to fork out for then you're all good, other wise to your run-of-the-mill student it's a rather big surprise. I think it was pretty discriminatory in that respect because if you can't take the test then you can't get into Medicine/Medical Labratory Science/Physiotherapy/Dentistry. Only leaves Pharmacy then.

Rant on UMAT over

I've started studying for exams, under a month to go *sighs* I hope I pass chemistry, other wise I can't get into biochemistry next semester. I'm starting the "I'm to worked up to sleep" phase of exam time. I've downloaded most of the lecture notes onto my 128MB flash drive (I can't find my 1GB one and it pissing me off, it had lecture audio on it) at this stage I'm going to be applying for MedLabSci, and if I don't get in I'm debating about just giving up and moving back home and going to either Massey or Victoria. Not really much keeping me down here I don't really have any friends down here. The people in my course are fucking snobs. If you're not in their hall or really in any hall they don't want to know you.

I've made an appointment for 2.30pm on Thursday so see a teaching fellow about the Hardy-Weinberg equalibrium. That is proberly the only thing in genetics I have absoultely no idea about. Prehaps I will make another one to have modes of inheritance explained. I can normally get the questions right, but I have no idea how or why. It just "looks right".

well off to 5pm chemsitry *sigh*

P.S - I'm so sick of losing my pens/twink/eraser/pencil!!

CELS191=21.5/60 average mark=32/60
CHEM191=12/30=30%
You know there seems to be a trend in this year group with people FAILING. I'm courious to note if it is just this year and if it is, has anything changed from other years or if it isn't what the hell is going on. Most people I've spoken to want to get into medical school and a median mark of that when most people need 70%+ isn't good enough.  I don't know if I'm ever going to get into medical school at this stage. I studied so damn hard for chemistry however, if the unfortunate does happen then I'm going to probably do a BSc in Anatomy or BBMedSci. You know I need to pass chemistry to get into BIOC192 next semester. I'm so annoyed right now it's like I'm trying and it's just not getting me anywhere.

I went to the capping show last night. Was completely awesome! and since yesterday was opening night we had the famous capping battle. Our poor HUBS lectuer had them in all her lectures, she did not look impressed when they came in the 2nd time in 5mins and I've got it all on video. It's pretty shit quality though as it was off my phone.

update I got 7/20 or 35% for my physics exam! Yay me and I was guessing!

I'm thinking twice now about going to Costa Rica. Why? Because of the $450 non-refundable deposit I have to pay. I'm not rich and I still have no job. However, the job is a little bit hard because my workload is through the roof. 13hours per paper per week to get "average grades". Thats 52hours per week then minus the 25hours of class time a week = 27 hours of work per week self-directed learning. I need more than average grades so prehaps add another 2 hours per paper onto that. That is an extra 8 hours per week. Bringing the grand total to 35hours per week. Total spend on school work? 60hours a week. If I get into medical school I have to seek permission from the dean on school in order to have a job anyways. But, I am picking up some extra cash hopefully via helping at a careers fair in the next couple of weeks for about 3 hours that I'm quite stoked with.

We have yet another HUBS terms test in a couple of weeks. The results from both CELS and PHSI aren't back yet. Although I heard that the average mark for the PHSI test was 8/20 which just made me CRACK UP LAUGHING. I think the head of PHSI191 does our ECGs (Exam Coaching Guides) and he said that he wasn't worried because there is still plenty of time before our finals. Prehaps it was a big hint that something needs to be changed. Then you get the freaks who get A+ in every paper which I think it weird. I have things I'm good at (CELS and HUBS) and things I'm not so good at (CHEM and PHSI). Next semester I am doing HEAL192, HUBS192, BIOC192 and RELS101. I'm actually counting on RELS to put my GPA up. I was thinking about it yesterday and I have a feeling that HEAL192 is going to have a lot of statstics in it since it's a epidemology paper.

Oh yeah, the University is thinking about changing to restricted entry which I think is a bloody shit idea. They have a system in place that says if you fail more than half your papers in a year than you get put on academic suspension and offered all sorts of help and if you still don't pass then you're not allowed to enroll in the university for 2 years. I think that idea is great, I got in via mature entry (because I could not be fluffed with my stoopid high school and the people in it for another year. I was quite a headcase around that time) and if I was made to sit a test before entering university I would have not been bothered with it. Knowledge should never ever be restricted.

Going to the Capping Show with Stacey. Sounds awesome fun.

I love my mum! She not only is getting me an electric blanket she is also buying me a colomn heater and helping with UMAT. <3

What's your sexual style? Take the sexual style quiz for yourself!

Blurg, man this week has just gone WOOSH. Like last Friday seemed like only a few days ago. I've been studying for chemistry like a good girl. Done some of my HUBS SDL booklet (I'm sure that is due soon I should really get cracking) I've looked at my CELS SDL booklet, I actually was at the University on Thursday but I didn't bring my textbook so I couldn't really do much (and if you've seen how huge Biology by Campbell & Reece is, you'd not want to take it any where either) at the moment I'm trying to do a few of my reading tests for Physics. It annoyies me so much that it's only worth like 1% of my whole mark for PHSI191 when there is about 4-7 reading tests of between 5-10 questions each and if they feel extra mean they'll do a couple of conceptual tests & we do that for each friggen topic!
You know I haven't actually written an actual assignment yet? All we get is SDLs. I'm not sure if thats exactly a bad thing.

Air New Zealand had $35 flights from Christchurch to Wellington and I wish I had the money to go because they fit in perfectly with my June16-July7th mid-semester break. But alas I may just ring up eggland (where I used to work) and see if they'd like me to work for those weeks. I really really hated it there but I know they are always short staffed and I know what I'm doing... the pay is alright at $12.50 just before I left in Feburary to start university I was told I was getting a pay rise. Like, 2 weeks before I left. Although I am told that minimum wage has gone up to $12.00 I guess now that the price of the basics has gone up they need to keep giving people a living wage. Which brings me onto my next point.

THE FUCKING STUDENT ALLOWANCE!! I don't qualify and neither does my other flatmate however, one of my flatmates does and is getting $182.42 per week. I'M ONLY STILL GETTING $150 AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!! When I used to get the allowance I was only getting $167-something. That would make a huge difference if I could get what she is getting. I'm finding it so hard to feed myself these days. I brought a silverbeet the other day because I couldn't remember the last time I had any green leafy vegetables. I may cook sushi tonight though, as I have some short-grain rice and nori. Just need some sausages (I was going to use chicken but it's a bit to expensive) I'm not eating well and I know it. I wish I knew what to each and how much (every week) so that I can have a meal plan and only buy what I friggen need every week. I know like I need vegetables (hence why I brought a silverbeet it tastes great with cheese sauce) Dont I need like 8,000 kJ of energy every day? Oh I also have museli because I love museli. Yum.

I still need to register for UMAT. And have that freaken blood test. I may get tested for insulin intolerance because the website said that I should because most doctors over-look it when diaogonising people with what I have... and there is a history of diabetees. 7.4mmol after 3hrs >_< and I had like no sugar that day (usual for me since I always have lollies stashed away somewhere. Or coke...)

Finally start some body systems after the holidays in HUBS! We are going to start learning about the endcrine system. I mean the musclo-skeletal system was okay but this is what I'm more interested in!

*sigh*

I miss that boy. I sometimes worry that we can't talk... like it's just a physical thing.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!

I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA FOR THE SUMMER WITH ISV! holy shit man! I'm so excited! I can't even contain myself!! I haven't even been out of NZ. I don't even have a passport... I don't even speak Spanish! Oh well they do offer a 5 day intensive spanish class. Omg this is like the best thing that has ever happened to be. Ever. I shall need to write letters for sponsorship as it costs about $4,000 NZD. Not to mention the flights and the cost of changing my name so that I can have my proper name on my passport. When I was born my mum spelt my name Taina instead of Tania on my birth cert. so I'm going to change it, and I'm also going to add another middle name.

I'm so glad mum is ringing me tonight.

I was planning to relax and do nothing at all but when I realised that my final exams are in early June I decided that it might be adventageous to study. Especially after the train wreck that was my physics exam. I must have guessed about 3/4 of it. I only worked out about 2 questions. I had 5 questions to go at 5mins T_T. Anywho what I need to get done next week is:

1. Write 3 sets of lecture notes for HUBS
2. STUDY STUDY STUDY for my CHEM exam on May 5
3. Find some questions in Urone to do with pressure and flow rate (I knew this would happen but the one thing I'm COMPLETELY lost with in physics is what most of our terms test was on)
4. Summarise this terms lectures onto 1 bit of paper for all lectures.
5. Find relevant questions in textbooks to do with concepts. It sucks because the professor who look our last module only had references to the textbook they used last year and not to the one that was essential this year.
6. Finish the first half of my CELS self-directed learning booklet
7. Complete the first 1/3 of my HUBS self-directed learning booklet

We are allowed study sheets into our physics exam and my got hot chocolate spilt on it about 20mins before the exam started. I knew I was doomed from the beginning.

So, to get all this done I intend to be awake, up and alive before midday so that I can sit down to work before 1pm and then go to what ever time early the next morning. I'm a night person

Only at Otago do you get boys in tutus dancing through your physics lecture

So... my cells exam went wonderfully shit. So my dreams seem to be doomed to die. Ah well, there is other things I'm interested in doing. I finished my first aid course last weekend and loved it. So I think I'm going to love being a (territorial) medic in the army. And if everything does indeed turn to shit, well then I can just do that for a living.